Category: Archive

Hello all!

Again for the third year, I have decided to take on the task of writing 50k of words in 30 days. It is called National Novel Writing Month, or NaNoWriMo for short. You need to average about 2,000 words per day to complete the challenge, and that is easier said than done some days.

NaNos must overcome challenges like day jobs, families, homework, and even writer’s block. You must have the will to miss shows you want to watch, go without sleep, and sometimes deal with computer breakdowns or lost chapters. My biggest challenges are not having a solid outline ( aka “pantser”) and writer’s block. I learned the hard way on the first NaNo to SAVE,SAVE, and backup everything.

I have a love/hate relationship with NaNo. I love the challenge and the adrenaline rush I get from doing it. I hate having to edit the veritable spewed garbage-esque writing that comes from the sheer desperation. I do love the reminder that I can do it, and that I can do it again.  When I started this year’s NaNo all I knew was it was going to be paranormal and probably something romance.

To some, I am cheating. To others, I am playing by the rules. I had a rough outline for a short story done before November 1. The story had too much material to be a short, and I learned this after 5k of writing. So I decided I will NOT COUNT the first 5k of writing. I will only count what I wrote from 1 Nov to 30 Nov 2013. The final draft of this will be 5k more than what I will say it is for NaNo. Other people plot out their novels in advance, so why can’t I use my outline for this?

I have made my peace with the rules and their nuances. This is my interpretation and I am sticking to it. I have no excuse right now NOT to finish my NaNo project. I am currently unemployed and have not found a full-time job. I have plenty of hours in a day to write when I am not looking for a job. This should be a very productive time for writing for me, and it has been so far. I do not intend to change that just yet.

So to all you NaNos out there, have fun and happy writing. My first novel, “Wild Hearted” was my first NaNo project. Last year’s is still awaiting the editor. Who knows where this year’s will lead me.

Good luck, happy writing, and happy reading!

angel

This is a new week full of big changes. I am now joining the thousands who are under-employed, or unemployed. My awesome job I’ve held for three years is no longer. The tiny law office of the lawyer I worked for had to close. This was not for financial reasons, but for the purpose of complying with current statutes. In our state, you cannot be a District Judge and a lawyer at the same time. If you are not a lawyer, then you have no need for a personal secretary/assistant. So that leaves me scrambling for a job.

I learned of my fate over a month ago, and promptly started sending out resumes. So far I have applied to be everything from a learning system salesperson, to a legal secretary. After 15 resumes, 2 interviews, and about 7 rejections, I am still looking. I have resigned myself to heading to the Job Service Center in the morning.

I have already updated my online resumes with my state, and have been signing into their website for about 6 weeks now. I keep signing in every few days and follow the links to apply. I am currently employed one hour a week cleaning a business, and work as many home care hours as I possibly can. Unfortunately, there are about 4 different companies vying for accounts in an area that holds about 4,000 people. So my income has, for all intents and purposes, bottomed out. Five hours of work for the whole week. PERIOD.

Something will break through for me. I am determined. I went and consulted a therapist a couple of weeks ago. She told me that if everyone she worked with had as much determination as I do, many of her able-bodied people would not be on state assistance. Now the trick for me is to keep up the momentum.

I have had one amazing interview, but did not get the job. However, I have been contacted by that person and asked if it was okay to circulate my resume among their colleagues.  This gives me hope. If I have my former employer and this senior partner on my side, how can I lose? I feel like I have angels on my side and I have no option but to succeed.

Okay, okay. I am a realist. There may not be job out there for me waiting. Jobs are harder to get and people are holding onto even those that are not as desirable as they used to be. What will I do if I cannot find that perfect job? Yes, I will keep looking. But the realist in me says there is one more option. Throw it out to the universe, and go back to school. I will pursue my dream and go back to school to be a counselor. This is the dream I had when I was a misty-eyed 17 year old looking at college.

I learned in therapy many years ago that I can maintain something for a very short time. So for this day, for the next hour, for the next few minutes, and for the next few seconds, I will be positive. I will go online and look for a job. I will go to the library twice a week when I have to go to work and I will look in all of the local papers for jobs. I will continue to apply for something if I even have a ghost of a chance to get it, not only if it is a slam dunk.

Well, it’s time for me to work on the stories for a couple of anthologies closing in the next few weeks, after throwing another load of laundry in the washer.  With the angels on my side, I am sure to land safely no matter where that may be.

thanks for letting me chatter.

love

angel e

What a an awesome and tough day today! Some of you know I am a dancer. I am a student of Oriental Dance, and I have issues. I have no instructor in my style of dance (Gothic Fusion), no troupe for this style, and I live far away from the nearest dance teacher. So why am I telling you all of this? Because it greatly influences things. If I want to take classes,  I have to change.

Depending on what’s available I either have to adapt to Classical or American Tribal Style. I can’t complain because I am still studying, learning, moving, and dancing. I have good basic posture. I know how to activate my muscle groups. I have my hip movements independent of my arms, independent of my torso, and independent of my hips.

But to change I have to change EVERYTHING. I have to change hand positions, arms, feet, hips. There are some moves that you DON’T do in one style that are in another. Are arms allowed to move only above the rib cage or can they be at hip level? Flat foot or relevé? Shimmies? Yeah, what kind? Are they straight leg, hip, 3/4, Egyptian? And the combos, turns, and foot work. And don’t forget the music styles are very different.

It’s like wearing 3 different hats as a dancer and learning 3 different dialects. Some of the basic stuff is the same, but the rest is very different. I love to dance. I have to be flexible to get through life. And I guess if the only way I can improve myself as dancer is by being a “Jill of all dances, master of none”, then I shall be!

with love,

angel

oh and if you are curious about all of this, here are a few names:

Fusion: Ariellah, Zoe Jakes, Rachel Brice,  Classical: Sadie, Princess Farhana, Fifi Abdou, Samia Gamal, Jillina  Tribal: Fat Chance Belly Dance, Black Sheep Belly Dance, Silvia Salamanca,

It’s back to school time. I see the pencils, paper, binders, and folders all lined up on store shelves, and I feel a twinge. Many, many moons ago, I had written part of a sword and sorcery story. I had one of those blue paper folders with the three sets of metal tabs to hold your paper snugly inside. This particular one was filled with page after page my sloppy scrawl in pen or pencil telling the story of a troubled, youthful female half elf. Granted, it was a rip-off of some of my Dungeons and Dragons stuff, mixed with some Tolkein and McCaffrey, and a dash or two of Arthurian legend and Brooks thrown in for good measure. The battered folder with the smudged and torn pages was thrown in a box after I got married. Through three moves, one good set of roommates, a horrible roommate, job changes, and a small child, the story was shoved into a box out in the shed.

I finally found the binder again, 11 years ago. My husband had shoved it into a garbage can, beneath a pungent load of mice-eaten debris. The pages were chewed and nearly illegible by now, the ink having faded from age and water damage. I grabbed at the folder, hoping to save my last juvenile dreams of being an author. He, trying to be practical, inadvertently humiliated me and hurt my feelings over it. I was not trying to be a hoarder; I was trying to save one of the few happy memories of my teen years I had. Defeated and broken, I shoved the folder deeper into the refuse bin. The story and my dreams were dead and buried. THE END.

Time, dreams, and hope have a funny way of resurfacing. You never know where or when, but it will start to reawaken like a seed in the spring. Through the last few years I have begun writing again, but this time it is poetry and paranormal stories. NO swords and fairies and magicians. I outgrew that in 1990. PERIOD! Over the last few months, I have become acquainted with many other authors. Some of them write the sword and sorcery stuff of my youth. I have seen some posts about the varieties of gaming and it has had an affect on me. The battered blue folder that contained my hopes and dreams resurfaced in my dreams last night. My troubled (more like career-confused, dysfunctional, and very angry) character whispered to me from the confines of the folder. SHE is refusing to be silenced. SHE will not be buried and forgotten. Just because the first draft of her is no more does not mean she will allow that to happen to her.

Yes, there is a lot of me in Errilyn Lynna RavenHold, in Isis the Contessa of Swords, and of Jade the “NOT the pack Alpha”. Once I finish with Isis the Vampire and her story, and Jade the werewolf and her story, I will begin anew with Lynna. Isis and Jade have healing elements to their stories. Who knows, maybe Lynna’s story will never be published or it may be my best work yet. Only time will tell.

until next rant,

love,

Angel

I work in the healthcare field as one of my several part-time jobs. The other day, a friend came to me with concerns about a family member. To make a long story short, I recognized the symptoms of a stroke. CALL THE DOCTOR.

Right now, I have a couple of minor things going on with me. I have come down with these problems several times over the years. I know the symptoms. I know the signs. I have to call the doctor. 

I have to go through the hassle of call the clinic, hope they can work me in, and maybe have a nice visit with my doctor about my conditions. I am lucky enough that I am not on any steady medications. What the doctors often don’t understand is that 1- yes I have asthma, allergies and sometimes get bladder infections and an occasional yeast infection. 2- I am mostly on over the counter meds and want to keep it that way. 3-my symptoms are often irritating, and sometimes slow me down a bit but they are MANAGEABLE!! 

I’ve never been totally allergy free. Ever in my life. As long as I’m not miserable, I’m good to go. Let me be. I don’t want to be on meds until I have to be. Getting old is not easy, and soon enough I will have to take daily meds for my aging body.

Until then– LET ME BE!!

Oh what a year! It has been a year since I self-published my first book. I have learned so much, and come so far in what seems like a short time. I am currently trying NOT to rush to publish my next books. I want them not to be good, but GREAT! I want to grow as a writer and have my characters grow as well. I want to continue getting better and become a top-notch writer.

Notice I did not say best selling. I want to be a quality writer, and that does not always mean popular. I do not want to turn out a bunch of carbon copies of the same book, with only the names and small details changed. I want quality books that deal with real issues, that give people hope, make the reader laugh, and maybe heal or help someone.

Don’t get me wrong. I want to sell books. I want to write books. I would love to be a full-time author, and not have to work a variety of part-time jobs to make ends meet. Until I am able to reach that point, I will squeeze in my writing wherever and whenever I can, and stay focused on quality over quantity.

Ahh, blessed snow.
Well, maybe. This year we had a large storm move through the country. Stuff was messed up from Colorado to Nebraska to Missouri, as well as all over Kansas. As usual, with my wonderful luck, I was mostly left to endure it alone.
Yes, ALONE. Even though my son lives only about 1,000 feet away from me, he was too “busy” to help much. Oh, he grabbed the snowblower, ran it around 2 sides of the vehicles, made a single pass to where I had shoveled myself, and refused to do much else. He brought his small truck, with almost no ground clearance, down to my house. He dug himself out where he was stuck, then turned around and went home. the next day, since I was fussing about not being dug out yet, and my hubby, mom, and sis badgered my offspring, he brought his financee/girlfriend/live in’s car down, promptly getting it stuck several times.
I have managed to dig the rest of the parking area out, my sidewalk out twice, and made my way out to do chores. As my wonderful luck would have it, my hot water lines are frozen in our balmy temps- was 8 degrees when I woke up.
MORE good news. I have managed to tweak my back, and make my arm sore. I do have to admit, picking up the plugged in extension cord to the chicken house, and finding missing insulation on it with my bare hand, has probably aggravated my sore arm. The chickens now have a new extension cord, and were toasty warm all night last night.
The weather is expected to come in on us tomorrow night, dumping freezing rain on top of this nearly 12 inches of snow. ENough, you say?? BWAHAHAHA! We are expected to get another 4 inches of snow with the 3/4 inch of ice from freezing rain from Sunday night to sometime Monday afternoon.
The good news in all of this is that with the weather, over the road truck drivers have been seriously inconvenienced, and loads are either pushed back or cancelled. And how can this be good news, knowing my other half is a trucker? This means he gets to spend his reset time at home.
He has banned me from doing more shoveling, ordered me to take it easy, put on a pot of chili, only do basic chores for the critters, and wait for him to come rescue me.
He is ready to put the chains on the one ton truck, put the snow blade on the back, and WORK!

someone very close to me has found a new religion and a spouse, all within a few weeks. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with having beliefs, or accepting a faith, or getting married, or doing all that. There is nothing wrong with changing your life for the better. However, do not expect me to simply accept this is a good change until I see it is a change for the better.

My problem is, you suddenly show up on my door, telling me how wonderful this new belief system is, drastically changing your clothing, your routines, and your eating habits.  You call your sacred book by the same name I refer to mine, and I am supposed to be alright with this. You claim your belief system is built on the EXACT same principles as mine, when I have studied your “religion” and know this is not so. You become upset when I refuse to accept the concepts you embrace, and even disprove some things.

now your new spouse writes to me, saying how much you miss family, how you are upset we have abandoned you. You told us the marriage was months away, maybe a year. less than a month later, you are married, and we find out by photos on the internet with your new “family” surrounding you. You are now having serious financial problems, when before that was not an issue.

Right now, I am trying to be objective. I am trying to not be harsh, or judge. I am feeling like I was abandoned because I refuse to accept all of these happenings as positive. I am struggling to be open-minded, and to love unconditionally. I have written back, addressed concerns, and given my side.

Do not expect me to trust unconditionally. Allow me time, and let my trust be earned. I have been betrayed too many times to follow blindly. I do know I need to work on forgiveness, acceptance, and ask for guidance.

Growth is painful. Relationships change. I must be in a growth stage, and there is so much more for me to learn. I hope that I am wise enough to recognize it.

I am blogging today while I look at the windmills in Central Kansas —

 

How many of you are doing the NaNoWriMo thing? I struggle with the thought of cranking out a whole novel in 30 days. I have to sit down and sometimes I feel like I am simply writing a stream of consciousness, and not quality work.

Okay, okay. I know that first you have to get the story out, and editing will polish the story. But what if it is a bad story from the start? I know there are several instances of bad writing being popular. But I don’t want to be one of THOSE writers, my mind SCREAMS.

I step back, take a deep breath, and realign. I have a story I want to write. I have a character who wants her story told. I love writing my vampires. Why am I doing this in the first place? Because I love to write, plain and simple.

So, again, why am I going to subject myself to the pressure of cranking out so many thousand words a day for a month? I do it for *takes deep breath* the challenge to see if I can, to know I can write and complete a novel in 30 days, to have another completed MS in my files, to complete a task with a deadline I set for myself, for the prizes, and most of all- SO THAT I CAN CONQUER MY FEAR OF SUCCESS!!!

until next time

angel

Lucky me! got to go visit Scarlett’s blog this week. 

here is the link to check out her stuff!!

 

http://sinfullyscarlett.blogspot.com/2012/10/guest-post-with-gena-mantz.html?zx=cc203795265abef0

hope you have as much fun as I did!

Angel