someone very close to me has found a new religion and a spouse, all within a few weeks. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with having beliefs, or accepting a faith, or getting married, or doing all that. There is nothing wrong with changing your life for the better. However, do not expect me to simply accept this is a good change until I see it is a change for the better.
My problem is, you suddenly show up on my door, telling me how wonderful this new belief system is, drastically changing your clothing, your routines, and your eating habits. You call your sacred book by the same name I refer to mine, and I am supposed to be alright with this. You claim your belief system is built on the EXACT same principles as mine, when I have studied your “religion” and know this is not so. You become upset when I refuse to accept the concepts you embrace, and even disprove some things.
now your new spouse writes to me, saying how much you miss family, how you are upset we have abandoned you. You told us the marriage was months away, maybe a year. less than a month later, you are married, and we find out by photos on the internet with your new “family” surrounding you. You are now having serious financial problems, when before that was not an issue.
Right now, I am trying to be objective. I am trying to not be harsh, or judge. I am feeling like I was abandoned because I refuse to accept all of these happenings as positive. I am struggling to be open-minded, and to love unconditionally. I have written back, addressed concerns, and given my side.
Do not expect me to trust unconditionally. Allow me time, and let my trust be earned. I have been betrayed too many times to follow blindly. I do know I need to work on forgiveness, acceptance, and ask for guidance.
Growth is painful. Relationships change. I must be in a growth stage, and there is so much more for me to learn. I hope that I am wise enough to recognize it.