All by myself

Being a broke author is not easy. I want the big, fancy artwork I see on the covers of famous writers. Then I remind myself, I am not famous. Yet.

All my life, things were a struggle. My mom worked. When she wasn’t holding down a full-time job, often commuting 2 hours a day, she worked 2 part-time jobs instead. When my sister and I were small, she ran a daycare out of the home. I grew up knowing you have to work to get what you want, and sometimes even then, it was still out of reach. That’s part of life and growing up.

So far with publishing my books, I did not do it totally on my own. I have had a chorus of fellow indie writers, my editor, and my family cheering for me. If I am confused, frustrated, or ready to scream and quit, my awesome support group keeps me going.

I will admit that I did do as much of the work as I can. I took my own photos, learned how to resize them, put on the type and fonts, and format the manuscript for ebook or print formats. I won’t gloss it over. IT WAS HARD WORK. I got frustrated, discouraged, and lost my confidence for a short time. I had to ask myself, “How bad do you want to get this book out? Are you going to quit now?” I grabbed another cup of coffee, let fly a string of inventive curses, opened my web browser, and went back after it. Countless failed attempts (over a dozen), and HOURS later (over 4), I had my ebook live and online.

There will be people who will say that my cover art is simplistic and looks cheap. That’s fine. It may be. I can hold my head high. I know I did my very best. I put in the hard work and the time. I can be proud of what I have done. Like my female main characters, I did not sit and cry, I did not expect someone to feel sorry for me,  I did not expect someone to come save me, and most of all, I took charge, did my best, and can hold my head high as an Indie author. I now know I can do it.

Now on to the next challenge!

Friend or Foe

For some time, I have had character with a blog, and a twitter feed. Out of the blue, I received a request to resurrect some of my older work that I did with a co-writer. I had mixed feelings. I was not the one that called off the project, and I have certainly taken my characters and been busy rewriting. I thought about it, consulted the minds of several others who were more knowledgeable, then made my decision.

My characters have moved on, and exist in a whole new world. This has given me freedom and the opportunity to write my characters as I saw them. I have the freedom to pursue my story lines, use all of my ideas, and not have to compromise. My reluctant heroine can be true to herself. I can be true to my characters.

I do miss some parts of a former friendship. However, it was pointed out to me by several of my other friends, that maybe the friendship may not have been so good for me.

I think in this case, moving on is the best thing for me, for Isis the Vampire, and for my writing. Not holding onto something just because it is all I know has proven to be an awesome thing for me and has facilitated so much more growth for me than I ever thought possible.

happy writing

Not again

Somehow, every time I try to post, something goes wrong. Twice last week, I poured out my soul, whined about my pains, and had an amazing blog post written up, only to either have it disappear, or the site refused to post it. No good reason why, just “not allowed”. Now today,  somehow, I pushed the wrong combination of buttons, and the post simply disappeared off the screen. Everything I had written was gone. Again.

I have options. I can either quit now, and not post again. Not an option. I can say it wasn’t meant to be, that the “universe, powers above, Creator, (fill in your choice of entity/deity)” does not want me to post that. Maybe, but again, not posting is not an option for me.

For me, this is like some of my writing and computer problems. Either I can stop now, or I can keep going. I will keep going. I may need a day or two to gather myself, but I will keep at it. I have a NEED to write, to dance, just like I have to breathe, to eat, to drink coffee. I will have to admit, I need to make sure I am not doing something to create my own mess, and accept my part, if any, in this.

NOW comes the real test. I have rewritten this post (for the fourth time in two weeks), and will push the “publish post” button. If it goes through, I will celebrate. If it does not, I will again begin typing.

We as writers can either give up, stop writing, and allow all the scratches and dents to overcome our shiny chrome plated hearts, or we can gather our will, proudly polish those dents and scratches and KEEP GOING. Best of luck to all of you. I’m off to polish my little dented heart, and  WRITE! WRITE! WRITE!!!

Hello World

Hiya. I decided to start my author blog today. Figured I may as well since it had to be done sometime in the near future.
I’m hoping to finish a couple of my works in progress in the next few months, a book of paranormal poetry, and at least one novel.

Hello world!

Welcome to WordPress.com! This is your very first post. Click the Edit link to modify or delete it, or start a new post. If you like, use this post to tell readers why you started this blog and what you plan to do with it.

Happy blogging!