I know most of the US has been slammed with a series of nasty snow storms over the last few days, and we are not out of this yet. I hope all of you are warm, safe, and are enjoying your snow days.
It has been a difficult couple of days for me. I recently lost an amazing uncle, am still hunting for a job, my unemployment is about to run out, husband had to travel for work in this mess, and I have had a couple of minor health issues. Add this stress to the storm and the dumping of 10+ inches of snow and I felt overwhelmed.
I cursed the snow as I shoveled. I spat out my frustrations through the scarf covering my mouth as I flipped shovelful after shovelful along a narrow path to my destination. I am sore but I also figured out something- the storm and my sparse work hours have given me an opportunity to work through some issues.
I am learning to silence the negative voices in my head that tear me down. Those thoughts that often pop up when you make a mistake and you berate your choices. I am rejecting them and encouraging myself instead.
I am grieving. I know I need to let the feelings ebb and flow. There is no time limit.
I know I need to STOP thinking I can eat anything. I am gluten intolerant and dairy intolerant. It is not in my head! I need to stand strong and do what I need to for my health.
I WILL get a job. I will keep looking until I find one.
My husband believes in me enough that he can go do his job and not worry (too much) about me. I am healthy and capable. I have lived through worse than this out here on the farm alone.
This Snowmageddon I figured out that sometimes you don’t find out what you are capable of until tested. Some days, I’d rather not prove my strength but will rise to the challenge when necessary. The world doesn’t always allow a choice.
I am grateful for all the aggravations, issues, challenges, and revelations I receive.
stay safe and warm and enjoy this winter wonderland gifted to us!!