This year our family has changed here at the ranchette. In April, we had a barn kitten born with what I believe is Spina Bifida or something of the sort. Her back legs don’t work right. I wanted to move Scooter into the house as soon as the kitten was weaned. My hubby refused.
Fast forward to September. Scooter kitty moved into the house after a visit to our vet. Scooter became Zsuzsanna. She may be tiny but has a big personality, and doesn’t hesitate to let us know what she wants or needs.
I honestly didn’t know if I could do this, but here we are. I wouldn’t change a thing. Yes, it is work. A LOT of WORK. Diapers, cleaning her bottom after bathroom trips, bathing, and water therapy. And there is the good of it. Her following me around the house, chattering to me. The feel of her warm little body curled up next to me in the chair as I write, with her purring and napping. I have gained her trust, her love, and her affection and it is worth every bit of the work.
I know some people would question me. Why didn’t I have her put to sleep? I talked to my vet. Dr. M evaluated Zsuzsanna’s condition and let me know what I needed to do to care for her! Zsusanna is in no pain. She is happy and healthy. I am feeding her quality kitten food in an attempt to put some weight on her before we have her spayed. Again. UNDER DOCTOR’S ORDERS AND CARE.
Earlier, she was following me around and chattering, refusing to go sit in the chair out of the way. I sat down to write this blog post and she climbed up in my lap, snuggled up with her chin on my arm, and went to sleep.
The quality of my life has certainly improved. I spend 10 minutes daily on the elliptical. I eat better. I move more with her needing care.She encourages me to go to bed at a decent time and take breaks when needed. Right now, I’m not sure who rescued whom.
until next time
it’s that time of year again. I am torturing myself with the challenge of the National Novel Writing Month where I try to knock out 50,000 words in 30 days. Some years I won the challenge, and some I have not. It is a great time to connect with other writers, cheer each other on, and commiserate.
I realize I am posting this late in the month. It’s because I have been so busy doing stuff for other authors that I started late.
and on that note, I am turning off my inner author, attempting to break the 10,000 word mark, and getting back to putting the words on the page!
until next time,
This weekend I was in Wichita, Kansas for their yearly Local Author Fair. IT WAS GREAT! There was a panel of four authors who gave insights in the morning, and from 2-4 in the afternoon, the author fair. It was PACKED. I was surprised at the variety of fans, other authors, and general public. People of all ages came to see all different kinds of authors. Romance, Sci-fi, graphic novels, YA, kid lit, nonfiction, and paranormal were all represented.
I sold several books, as well as bought one from Avery Ames. (Shhh. I know it’s not going to be released for another two weeks!) I will be leaving a review for her! If you love high fantasy, don’t miss her book!
I will have to restock Paranormal Bites, Night Blind, Waking the Devil, and Light Shards. I even sold a copy of City Dreams.
I am so grateful to have good fans and access to events like this. PLEASE support t
I am today at the Topeka Shawnee County Public Library today for a day of workshops. I am so lucky to have access to the TSCPL, their staff, and the wonderful offerings there.
I know there is a lot I need to learn. I am willing to learn. Today is a day for me to take what I can. I have found out that my flailing away in the dark has gained me valuable knowledge.
I do know the main message today is
I’ve been busy lately with doing multiple book signings, working on my self, and with a new story for an anthology. (I will publish details if I get accepted.)
It’s a paranormal murder mystery with Tessa and the werewolves. Niku, Tessa and Nathaniel are back together to investigate a murder. Right now, I am past the first deadline but am closing on the finish line.
Sorry I cant stay and talk, but will be back at least once before the Wichita KS Advanced Learning Library’s Local Author day on August 24th 2019 from 2-4 pm. I WILL BE THERE
Now back to typing away.
July 5 I had a wonderful day at Ellen Plumb’s City Book Store in Emporia, Kansas. It is a marvelous little gem snuggled up next to the college and if you’re not looking, you will miss it.
I was the featured author for the night.I had a room FULL of friends and friends who are family. The place was packed and I sold more books than I expected. New and old friends were introduced, and we had a good time.
THIS Saturday night, I will be at the Barnes and Noble in Bradley Fair in WIchita, Kansas on a local author panel. Or am I more of a regional Kansas-centric author now?
I am nervous. Hopeful. Excited. And I get to go stay with my daughter and her awesome hubby and see my other daughter. I get to see an author pal of mine who is also on the docket.
and my Vampire Doman will be there! I am afraid I will disappoint him.But I know the only way I could have done that was to NOT EVEN TRY for this.
For now, I will breathe, relax, and work on my next project.
I am also slated to try for a paranormal murder mystery anthology in a few more days. I’m halfway finished with the draft.
I also am waiting to see if I got a spot at the Local Author Day with the Wichita Kansas Library!
Maybe, if I look at the big picture, I might be getting the traction I need.
Monday was a hard day. I am still struggling with my upcoming milestone birthday. miss Pooky kitty was not feeling well last week, so we went for a visit to our fave Dr. Mona, the cat whisperer. Dr Mona and a vet student found crystals in Pooky’s bladder- sort of the human equivalent of kidney stones. New food, antibiotics, and we headed home. Things were going well, or so I believed.
Miss Pook was unresponsive on Monday morning. I called in as soon as Dr Mona’s office opened. by the time we rushed in a few minutes before our allocated time, Miss trash talking, shade throwing Cattitude was listless and lethargic. Frighteningly so. In my heart, I knew. 10 years was all I would get with her.
After an exam, some kind words from Dr Mona, and some serious evaluation about quality of life versus quantity, the decision was made.
Wrapped in my favorite towel, laying in her favorite spot on my chest, I said my goodbye.
My heart is still breaking. I have called for her at least three times today.
I keep turning my attention to all of my other fur kids, who need me. I still feel a loss. Actually, the LOSSES. MOllydog passed from breast cancer in June. Two weeks ago, our elderly adoptee Daisy passed. Now PookyKitty.
I don’t do well with grief. I know I made the right choice to let her have a quality life and a dignified passing.
I still hurt.
Well, I’m still slogging it out here in the world of indie publishing. This month, I decided to try for B&N local author day in the city. I won’t hear anything for a week and I am anxious. I know I will either make the cut or not. That is a given. I’m just hoping I make it but I am expecting the turn down.
I am also the featured author for first Friday in July in Emporia. WOW. A little nervous about that too. I have friends coming from around Kansas to hear me read. Double wow. I tell myself my hard work is paying off. I guess it is.
I am much better at encouraging others. I am learning how to to it for myself.
I will keep you all updated on how things go.
until next time. thanks for hanging in there with me-
This week has been hard.
Maybe that’s not the right word.
Heartbreaking. Rough. Raw.
My best friend, Molly the Maremma mountain dog, lost her battle with breast cancer on Thursday. She was loving, too damn smart for her own good, gun shy, and always happy. I was HER person. My lap was the safest place in the universe. She loved me. No matter what. She loved me.
I miss her. I miss EVERYTHING about her. That deep bark at anything that moved. Snoring louder than I do. Grumbling and slapping the crate door when it was time to get up. Even her tearing hell out of three extra large dog crates, my back yard, my favorite silk skirt, and my chain link fence. Her obnoxiously ringing the large jingle bells on the back door when she wanted out for the third time in the last hour. To have her gallop across the yard and snort on the barn cats, just to make them hiss and grumble. I would happily endure all of that all over again. Every minute of the frustration was precious. I was her momma from the time I retrieved her from that tiny kennel in a back yard, because she wasn’t small and cute anymore.
My house was her forever home and I was her forever fur mom. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I know she would want me to pour all of my love on the rest of the critters here. And I am trying.
Right now, I have a job but the agency I work for hasn’t had any new clients admitted. That means I have no work hours.
A second dose of grief.
I bounce between the stages of grief. Sometimes several times a day. Like one of those blue rubber balls in a fierce game of handball.
Bounce. Bounce. Bounce. Bounce.
I miss you, fluppy lap puppy. You were taken from me all too soon.
your fur-ever momma
It’s a sad time for me. I lost my furry best friend. My Molly, a Maremma mountain dog, lost her battle with breast cancer on Thursday.
I was HER person. She was stubborn, too damn smart for her own good, and loving. If she didn’t like someone, then I knew to be on guard. I would often see her curled up outside in her chair with one of the barn cats. One day this spring, when it was cold, she sat outside of her house and kept looking from me to the doghouse and back. She had a pitiful look. I went to investigate, and found Mamma Grumpy Cat comfortably ensconced inside. Much to Molly’s delight, and Grumpy’s dismay, I shooed kitty out. That really summed up her personality.
I buried her here at the farm. That way, she can still keep watch over me and the farm, like she enjoyed.
Over the last few days, I find myself wanting to call her name. I miss her at my side. I wish I could hear her deep bark. I would LOVE for her to misbehave and aggravate me again one more time. To listen to her grumble and snore in her sleep. For her to slap the door of her kennel to tell me it is time to get up. For her big wet footprints to dirty my floors.Ten years with my fluppy lap puppy wasn’t long enough.
I gave her a forever home. She tore hell out of three extra-large dog crates and my chain link fence, hated fireworks and thunderstorms, dug holes in my yard and under my house, barked at anything that moved and frustrated the hell out of me some days. BUT EVERY MINUTE OF IT WAS WORTH IT! She knew she was loved. I was her forever momma. If she was upset or scared, she wanted to sit on my lap because she knew she was safe and loved. This was HOME.
I find myself bouncing between the stages of grief like a game of handball.
Oh, and right now I have a job but no clients, no hours, and no income of my own. Got that news a few days before…
A double dose of grief. Just what I didn’t want.
For now, I will bounce around, work through things, give my love to the rest of the furry and feathered critters here on the farm. I can’t stop being Mom because I am sad. Molly would want me to take good care of everyone. But most of all, she wouldn’t want me to be unhappy.
Goodbye, my sweet and gentle girl. Know you were loved.
your forever fur momma,